Ke Huy Quan is an Adorable Murder Machine in the Ragingly Okay Love Hurts

It's like John Wick, but with a different guy!

The 2013 surprise hit John Wick did not invent the archetype of the man of violence who leaves his life of crime behind to pursue peace and pacifism, only to be pushed back into his old ways by circumstance.

The man of violence who becomes a man of peace, and then a man of violence again, has been a staple of the action genre for ages. The Unforgiven, one of the best and most important Westerns of all time, revisionist or otherwise, is a notable example of this timeless and trusty trope.

However, John Wick was so successful and influential that it’s difficult, if not impossible, to write about this subgenre without referencing Keanu Reeves’ beloved bloodbaths.

Thanks to John Wick, its three terrific sequels, its upcoming spin-off From the World of John Wick: Ballerina, and, to a much lesser extent, its television spin-off The Continental: From the World of John Wick, Keanu Reeves’ franchise owns this style of bloodbath.

The 2021 action thriller Nobody was John Wick but with Bob Odenkirk because Derek Kolstad, the creator of John Wick, wrote it. Kolstad wrote the scripts for the first two entries in the series and co-wrote John Wick: Chapter 3, Parabellum.

Kolstad did not write Love Hurts, but it sticks so closely to the formula of his hits that he probably deserves a story credit.

If Nobody was Bob Odenkirk’s John Wick, then Love Hurts is John Wick with Ke Huy Quan. It has a direct link to the popular franchise through producer David Lietch, who ghost-co-directed John Wick after making his name as a hotshot stuntman.

Love Hurts marks the directorial debut of Jonathan Eusebio, another veteran stuntman making the big leap to directing who, not so coincidentally, also worked on The Fall Guy for Lietch. During his extended absence from acting, the extremely impressive Quan worked in stunts and fight choreography. In a related development, an enormous amount of thought and consideration was put into the film’s fight scenes, that are otherwise absent from the rest of the film.

I still have not seen Everything All At Once, despite being both a professional film writer and someone with ADHD, so this is the first movie I’ve seen Quan since Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

He’s grown up quite a bit since! Quan may be knee-high to a grasshopper, but he is nevertheless an explosive force.

Once upon a time, Marvin Gable, the assassin-turned-real-estate-agent Quan plays here, used his fists of fury for evil. His crime boss brother, Alvin "Knuckles" Gable (Daniel Wu), used his sibling as a brutal enforcer.

Marvin leaves his life of crime for a new existence as a real estate agent whose relentless self-promotion results in his friendly face being plastered all over his hometown of Milwaukee.

If I were a hitman who went straight and wanted to stay off the radar of my former criminal associates, I would not have chosen such a public profession. I’d pick a job allowing me to operate behind the scenes.

It’s worth noting, however, that when Marvin was a prolific assassin, he did not wear glasses. If Superman has taught us anything, it’s that people who wear glasses are unrecognizable when they take them off.

Despite Marvin brilliantly disguising himself as a bespectacled gentleman, Alvin nevertheless discovers where his brother has been hiding and dispatches a colorful group of killers who are also real characters to terminate him.

The first kooky killer to attempt to kill our anti-hero is Mustafa Shakir as Raven, who is handy with knives and blades but whose heart lies in the poetry he writes. The strikingly handsome poet/killer’s good looks and soul win him the attention of Ashley (Lio Tipton), Marvin’s frustrated assistant.

Marvin then faces off against the destructive duo of King (Marshawn Lynch) and Otis (Norwegian rapper André Eriksen). During his football career, Marshawn Lynch was nicknamed Beast Mode. In the film’s opening credits, he’s listed as Marshawn “Beast Mode” Lynch. In the movie itself, he shouts “Beast Mode” in a fit of excitement.

Like so much of the film, Lynch’s character and performance are nowhere near as badass as they should be; however, from a branding perspective, his role is a triumph.

Beast Mode!

Quan is not the only Academy Award winner in this silly action-comedy, remarkably. Ariana DeBose, who won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for 2022’s West Side Story, costars as Rose, the female lead and Quan’s love interest.

Rose, a lawyer, engendered Knuckles’ wrath by stealing millions from him. The irate mobster dispatches Marvin to kill and then bury Rose, but he’s too enamored of the gorgeous criminal to go through with the execution.

Rose is a badass in her own right. She’s fearless enough to take on Knuckles and his goons.

Love Hurts has tremendous strengths in Quan and DeBose. They’re ultimately too good for this forgettable fluff.

Quan could not be less intimidating physically. He’s a slight figure, preternaturally athletic, and downright superhuman in his fighting skills. He’s not just capable of defeating someone twice his size; he’s capable of beating a basketball team’s worth of hulking henchmen simultaneously.

The child actor made good might just be the single most adorable mass murderer in film history. I did not count, but it sure feels like Marvin murders at least a dozen people with his hands and feet. He doesn’t need a gun to wreak damage; his feet and hands are deadly weapons in their own right.

In his first solo vehicle as an adult, Quan is a uniquely lovable combination of mensch and mass murderer.

Unfortunately, the screenplay lets Quan down. It’s full of clunky exposition artlessly delivered. It also has the kind of narration born of studio executives worrying that very stupid audiences won’t understand the plot or its themes unless everything is spelled out as explicitly as possible.

Quan and DeBose make Love Hurts watchable. It’s the kind of movie you watch on an airplane because even a half-assed mediocrity is better than talking to the stranger beside you.

It’s the kind of thing you can watch on Netflix while folding your clothes without missing anything essential.

Love Hurts is ragingly okay. It’s painless, in part because it runs a brisk 83 minutes. Quan is a delight. He proves a charismatic and engaging leading man and an unlikely but inspired action hero. He’s a little man with a massive presence.

Two and a half stars out of five