So I am deep into writing up the fourth Ernest P. Worrell movie, Ernest Goes to Jail. I’m a big fan. Yesterday I watched State and Main and Ernest Goes to Jail and I gotta say I enjoyed them about equally and I LIKE State and Main.
I guess being a Juggalo who also enjoys the films of Ernest P. Worrell represents an exciting new stage in my reverse-snobbery, as does my plans to attend a Shrek-themed rave tomorrow.
Anywho, while researching Ernest Goes to Jail I found this bit of IMDB Trivia that I had to share with you:
(Quasi-love interest) Charlotte Sparrow was originally written to get together with Ernest at the end. Jim Varney and the writers always wanted a love interest for Ernest. Several times he mentions a wife in the early commercials. Disney, however, vetoed the notion of Ernest experiencing any type of romance or love. Disney told the writers, "He's smooth down there". The writers were crushed once they were told that Ernest had no genitalia, they felt it was like finding out there's no Santa.
So there you have it, folks. Ernest P. Worrell does not have a penis. I’m surprised and a little alarmed, to be honest, because, to be brutally honest, I’ve always found Jim Varney extremely attractive, even if he’s as smooth as a Ken doll down where it counts.
Disney told the writers, "He's smooth down there"
That's some top tier hater-ade! With the hammer that Ernest is no-doubt packing, Disney's ultimatum is like owning a Ferrari but having it never leave the driveway. That puppy needs to run wild and free!
A part of me wants to debate whether or not Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam really counts as an Ernest movie, but I'm going to tell that part to shut up and go eat a sandwich or something.